Ready to Adult

What’s this? Is it– I mean, it could be? Yes, I believe this is a new post from the nonalcoholicstudent!

I know it’s been a while. I’m not going to sit here and make excuses. I’m not going to say that it’s been work or uni. More than anything, I’ve just had nothing to say and no motivation to blog. Every time I have sat down to write a post it has felt forced and futile, and with the lack of a large community-pool-type-thing, I’ve found it increasingly hard to gain traffic and so, the whole thing kind of just died on me for a bit (that and not being able to keep the app on my phone because my family seem to enjoy policing every little thing that goes on in my life – but never mind!)

But finally, I come to you now looking for solace and for a good ol’ rant. I’ve spent nearly two months at home and despite what students may say about enjoying a 4 month holiday, it’s really not all it’s cracked up to be. Don’t get me wrong, I love my job; I’ve been able to pick up several shifts which is great (and Lord knows I need the money) but what no one tells you about that massive holiday is that you’re now a completely different person to the one that left home nearly a year ago. In the run up to the holiday, you have this romanticised image of home in your head, which, if you’re anything like me, conveniently omits anything that irritated you.

Now, I’m not going to go into particulars but I have found living at home so difficult that I am almost disappointed when my shift ends at work because it means I have to go home. There are frictions that exist now that didn’t before I left: I’ve gone from having loads of space to no space, from loads of freedom to no freedom. I feel so restricted at home when I never did before.

I feel so ready to go back to York already, move into my new flat and just spend some time alone for a bit. But then I have the irritating problem of money: if I didn’t need to be earning so much money, I could reduce my hours again and move up to York now, but the reality is I do need the hours and so I have to stay at home (and, dear readers, I have looked into jobs at York but I only have maybe a month before term starts and for many, many reasons, a job in York won’t work for me).

I guess my problem is that I’m ready to actually be an adult. I don’t mean the kind of thirteen-year-old-self angst that just hates everything to do with home; I mean that I’m ready for something new. Home feels too safe and too regular and though I love the fact that I don’t really have to pay for anything here, that I don’t have to worry about water and energy, I also don’t get to experiment with cooking new things and trying new foods; everything is done by someone else’s timetable – regardless of whether it fits with mine – and I just feel that there isn’t really room for me here anymore.

I do apologise for this random ramble of what is essentially teenage angst, but I hope that we can all – at least on some level – relate to this kind of thing. I can’t wait to see you all again in the comments. It’s been so long!

(Photo by Erol Ahmed on Unsplash)

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28 thoughts on “Ready to Adult

  1. I’m almost two years past my undergraduate degree, and almost two years living back at home. I worked last year, but I am able to relate to you (both when I was in school and, again, now) with a growing urge to strike out on my own for real.

    Like

  2. I’m about to start my freshman year of college next week, and I truly appreciate this rant. I don’t know what to expect in leaving, much less returning home next summer. Your honesty and experience is very helpful!

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Thank you so much for those kind words! May I just say that you have totally motivated me into posting again – moving away is terrifying at first but then it’s amazing! If you’ve got any questions I’d be more than happy to try and help! 🙂

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  3. Hello & Welcome Back!

    I actually stopped by your site to see if I was missing your posts in my feed somehow😊

    I agree with what you are saying about WordPress sans Community Pool or First Friday. I used to be excited to find new blogs and fresh content using those platforms and getting some traffic. I also have decreased the frequency of my posts, and recently wrote a post asking for new blog recommendations.

    I like your honesty about adulting. I moved out of the country when I was 18/19 and have been living independently since then and have a really hard time when I go home and live with parents under their rules. Totally understandable. Glad you are back 😊👍🏼

    Liked by 2 people

  4. Welcome back! I have noticed that my follower rates are much slower now without the Community Pool, I’m sure lots of others have too. I also used to have Mondays and Tuesdays as most popular days, but not anymore. I disappeared for 14 months before I got my groove back! 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

  5. I have some good news at least! We have a community pool started by another blogger and the more we share it and promote it the better it will get!
    On another note, blogwise, if you build it they will come! You already know that posts attract readers so the converse, not posting means losing followers is true too.
    Jump back in when you’re ready!
    http://bitchininthekitchen.org/2018/08/08/are-you-a-new-blogger-or-looking-to-grow-your-readers-and-get-feedback-on-your-posts/

    Liked by 3 people

  6. Hello and welcome back, I can relate with this post as I do feel that once you live away, it is hard to go back home and live there until term starts again. I really needed a break from university but I am getting a little bored and things are quite slow.
    Anyway, another good post 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hello and thank you! I’m completely the same. I really needed that break but not I’m totally ready for something new – perhaps it’s because I know I’m not living in halls? – it is slow but if you’re in the same uni cycle as me, we have about a month and a bit left!

      Liked by 1 person

  7. looking at it from a mom’s perspective..you get so excited your baby (sorry there Rich, but ya know you guys will always and forever be our babies) and this HUGE MAN comes walking back in the door with a suitcase or bag full of dirty laundry, and you think “OMG, how do I ever get through this summer?” You decide to just do what you have always done and maybe things will go back to normal. They don’t though, so you start doing everything for this man-like stranger in your son’s room and resent the hell out of having to have some total oddball living in your kid’s room, eating the food you cooked for your kid, doing his laundry, reminding him to get enough sleep, asking about his job, asking about Uni, asking about girls..and no answer is good enough to bring back that small child you sent away.
    It cuts both ways, my friend. Mom’s tend to go deeper into the way it was, dad’s have no clue and decide they now have to be even more stern than before…and the kid’s just want to go “adult”somewhere else. And EVERYONE feels guilty. and NO-ONE says what is really on their minds. buck up though, summer is almost over.

    Liked by 3 people

    1. I know this is so true and I’ve seen exactly what you’re talking about going on at home – my dad is definitely more stern. But you’re right I do feel guilty! Perhaps it’s just the British stuff-upper-lip-never-communicate-feelings kind of thing but I really wish we could all sit down and talk about it.

      Thank you for this, Suze. It doesn’t matter what you say it always makes me feel better 🙂

      Liked by 2 people

      1. sweetheart…you CAN just sit down and talk about it..and sorry calling you by the other son’s name, I certainly know what yours is. blame it on zero sleep for five days! lol
        Call a “family meeting” and force these people you call family to listen. it may piss them all off for a brief time, but old people can learn how to talk. I’ve seen it happen! lol

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  8. I literally gasped when I saw “nonalcoholicstudent” in my inbox omg. Thank you for blessing my day like this, I’m so sorry I’m about to yell but this just resonates so much w/ me
    *inhales*
    I’VE LITERALLY BEEN SAYING THIS THE ENTIRE SUMMER I’VE BEEN HOOOOOOOME AND THAT’S NOTHING AGAINST MY FAMILY OR ANYTHING THEY’RE WONDERFUL BUT I’VE REACHED A POINT I WANT TO GO BACK TO LIVING MORE INDEPENDENTLY AND I FEEL GUILTY JUST FOR TYPING THAT BUT I DOOOOOO AND I CAN’T EXPRESS HOW WONDERFUL IT IS TO HEAR YOU SAY IT, TYPE IT, PUBLISH IT TOO BECAUSE IT REASSURES ME THAT I’M NOT THE ONLY ONE AND I’M NOT AN AWFUL PERSON FOR SEEKING OUT OPPORTUNITIES FOR PERSONAL GROOOOOOOOOOWTH

    Liked by 2 people

    1. HIGH FIVE TO US THEN!
      You’re so right you can feel so guilty for even typing out those words but it’s just true. I’m just like you in that I have absolutely nothing against my family but we’re both becoming different people and so there is inevitable going to be friction. Hang in there – we both got this. Because we are both awesome 😎
      (And thank you so much for being so nice – you win brownie points for being hella excited because I posted!)

      Liked by 1 person

  9. Howdy!

    At least someone came out and admitted that the lack of CP affected their blogging. I’ve been speculating on it, seeing as people blog less and less. Moreover, I have not “discovered” a new blogger in too long of a while. WP has become rather stale. However, I see it as yet another challenge for myself. Challenge that I want to overcome, so I plow through.

    Your rant makes total sense. Before, you were “used” to living at home. You did not know what they world “out there” really held for you. Now, you got a taste of the freedom, and you’re addicted. It’s a normal progression. I remember coming back home after classes finished, when I was writing my dissertation… It was annoying as all hell. Like you said – there is a schedule imposed on you. And expectation, etc.

    Adulting is hard. Not having a cooked meal, a stocked fridge, etc. can be disappointing, but the pros definitely outweigh the cons when it comes to living alone/ not at home.

    Liked by 4 people

    1. The CP has definitely impacted my blogging yes but having seen the incredible response from people for having just posted, I think I might have to try again and plough through just like you!

      And that’s totally how I feel: that the pros outweigh the cons. I’ve been looking at my timetable for next year and I’ve spotted a few days that are going to be manic but I think that’s still preferable to my current situation 😅

      Liked by 1 person

  10. Welcome back. Everything you write makes sense to me. You are becoming more and more an adult and living at home feels less and less like a good fit. Yet you need to earn money right now. So you stay and practice patience! Lots of deep breaths in and out… This, too, shall pass!

    Liked by 2 people

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