I’ll Write

Hello again my dear blogging chums. Now, are you going to bring up what just happened first or shall I? I’ve spent most of the day thinking way too many things all of the same time and my brain has subsequently turned to mush.

Now, as 30 or so of you will have noticed, my last post (which I have since taken down) was a cover, specifically me singing Ed Sheeran’s Perfect. It was a file that I had been playing around with on the Garage Band app for weeks and this morning, the urge came over me to post it on YouTube. I’m not entirely sure where that urge came from mind you, but on with the post!

This may sound incredibly angsty but as soon as I started editing the video and hit publish on YouTube, it didn’t feel quite right. I knew the cover wasn’t exactly my best work. The levels were off and the guitar was out of time with the vocals but that wasn’t it. The whole process of recording the cover was something I really enjoyed and, yes, felt like me, but as soon as I posted it on YouTube, something felt really forced.

I am at my most honest and my most articulate when I’m writing and even though I love recording – and Lord knows I can belt out Defying Gravity and The Wizard and I in the original keys – but that honesty and articulation wasn’t coming across in a YouTube video as well as it did in a blog post. So much to the disappointment of my squad-mate, Fran, I took the video down and felt immediately much better. I felt better because I had got the whole recording-covers-and-posting-them-on-YouTube thing out of my system and as soon as I returned to the keys of my laptop to write out this post, I knew I was where I needed to be.

So am I saying that I’m never going to post another cover every again? No. But for now, I will write. I will write because the act of writing alone is one of the few things in this world that make me feel like I’m being my genuine, most authentic self. I sometimes feel as though I’m a collection of different people, and depending on what situation I’m in, I will become a different person, play up to a different aspect of my personality that seems to fit the situation. But whatever lies at the heart of me, whatever sits at the center of all those different characters that exist inside my soul, that’s what comes out when I’m writing. Yes, I have a silly side. Yes, I have quite the ditsy streak at times. And those sides of my personality are sometimes all that people can see. They never get to see the intelligent side, the thoughtful side that I know only comes across in my writing and not in a YouTube video.

So for now, I think I’ll write.

(Photo by MILKOVÍ on Unsplash)

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44 thoughts on “I’ll Write

  1. I completely resonate with articulating yourself better through writing, I feel this way also. It’s a shame that you weren’t happy with the end product of your project but when it doesn’t feel right you have to go with your gut. A wonderful post nonetheless 🙂 well done for being so honest too.

    Liked by 3 people

  2. “I will write because the act of writing alone is one of the few things in this world that make me feel like I’m being my genuine, most authentic self. I sometimes feel as though I’m a collection of different people, and depending on what situation I’m in, I will become a different person, play up to a different aspect of my personality that seems to fit the situation” YASSSSSSS!!! THIS!!! I am down with this. Totally. I ALWAYS feel like about 10 people and I don’t know which one is going to show itself when meeting people. At least when I’m writing I’m always the same person, potentially the real me…!

    Liked by 4 people

    1. Ahahaha thank you! I’m glad it’s not just me. I don’t mean it in a schizophrenic sort of a way; I just mean that in certain situations, I play up to certain aspects of my personality more than others. And like you say, I feel like writing returns us to that equilibrium of the self if that makes sense (wow that just got really deep!)

      Liked by 1 person

      1. No I completely agree with what you mean. Not schizophrenic like different people just will it be quiet me, centre of attention me, goofy me, awkward me, etc!

        Liked by 2 people

  3. I managed to catch it before you took it down and I liked it. I totally understand the jitters when it’s not something you’re used to, but you’re braver than me. You did it, and when you’re ready to give it another go then we’ll be here to support you. In the mean time keep writing. 🙂

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Thank you so much that really means a lot! I think you probably liked it more than I did ahah! I think the jitters came from the fact that I just wasn’t quite ‘there’ yet in terms of being read to post covers, wherever ‘there’ is. And when I come to do it again, I hope to post something a little better than that!

      Liked by 1 person

    1. Well, I wouldn’t say it’s brave to take it down but I hear your sentiment ahah! I think I just needed to get the whole idea of posting a cover on YouTube out of my system before realising that it’s not for me, at least not yet. And, anyway, I’m sure you do have the guts to do something like that, just in different areas!!

      Liked by 1 person

    1. I just said to floatinggold that I’m going to post the link later for about half an hour and then I’m taking it down for good! I’ll let you know when I’m posting it!

      But like you say, I like the articulation you get with writing that you don’t necessarily get with a video!

      Liked by 1 person

            1. Got it!
              1. You really have a good voice.
              2. It seemed to me like it wasn’t all of you. There were a few moments in which I felt as if you didn’t fully “let go”. As if you were afraid of something.
              3. You didn’t fully tap into your head voice, so this cover can be even better than it already is when you do.
              4. Great job.

              Like

            2. Thank you ahaha. Personally I think the guitar was what let it down the most. But I see what you mean about head voice. The falsetto riff was quite shaky. I suppose your point about letting go was interesting because I love to belt well into the 5th octave. Perhaps I should do more of a musical theatre type thing because I love to sing wicked mostly 😂

              Liked by 1 person

            3. The guitar was mostly in the background, for sure, but that is a testament to your voice.
              You’re definitely talented, and it’s super cool. I think we might have discussed this in the past, but – Have you taken part in any singing competitions? I mean like “Idol” or “Voice”, or whatnot?

              Liked by 1 person

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